State of Dis-Union

Esteemed members of Congress, Supreme Court, fellow Americans, etc. Welcome to my fifth State of the Union speech. Sorry, Mitch McConnell. The combined efforts of the Republican-generated voter suppression laws, the Chamber of Commerce, the NRA, and the Citizens United money plus your party's obstructionism on just about everything that could have helped speed the recovery – it just wasn't enough to prevent my second term.

In this speech. I am once again going to demonstrate that I have learned absolutely nothing about the tactics and strategies of my opponents in Congress by my appeals to their concern for the common good.

I am once again going to layout a very modest middle-of-the-road agenda that doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of passing in the Republican-controlled House or in the still-filibuster-wracked Senate. Thanks a lot, Harry Reid – what did you actually accomplish with filibuster reform? With great foresight, I predict that John Boehner seated behind me on my left will not rise once for a standing ovation to anything I'm about to say.

I am once again going to show that I have bought into the nonsense about deficit reduction being the most important problem facing America today. This at a time when 14 million Americans are “officially” unemployed , an additional 10 million underemployed and 4 million discouraged workers who would like to work but have not looked for a job in more than a year. For you knuckle draggers that don't believe in science and possibly math: that adds up to 28 million unemployed or underemployed. As any fool knows, deficit-driven-austerity does not create jobs in a climate like this.

Nah, I changed my mind. I won't do that. I'll give a real state of the union speech instead.

On the domestic front, we have 28 million unemployed or underemployed. Meanwhile, the Americans Job Act is still awaiting passage in Congress. Twenty percent of America's children live in poverty. Overall nearly 50 millionAmericans – about one in six – are living below the poverty level. To speak of austerity and a long-term deficit problem now is, quite frankly, obscene. (Take a look at Europe and see how “well” their austerity programs are working out.) What is needed instead is a massive public works program to repair the nation's crumbling infrastructure and to improve the quality of our schools. We need to help states hire more teachers, firemen and police. And we need to stop talking about cutting the food stamp program or the aid to families with dependent children. I'd suggest that any Congressman who thinks our support of the vulnerable in our society is excessive live on $14,500/year (allowing for two weeks' vacation or sick time, this the salary at the national minimum wage). Do this for a couple of years and we could reduce the national debt some. Maybe you can send your wife or husband out to work and rake in a total of $29,000. Then you can live high off the hog like those “welfare queens” your ilk despise and ridicule. Of course, you'd need to find some way of taking care of the kids while you both were at work. That will cost you some.  So maybe it won't be so heavenly.

 

I've said I want to have gun control legislation passed quickly. The NRA, that mouthpiece for arms dealers, has filled the airwaves with fear and lies. Contrary to the ravings of the NRA spokesman, no one will “kick in your doors” to take your guns away. No one is talking about repealing that outdated Second Amendment passed at a time when you had to reload your powder after every shot and intended clearly to apply to a well-regulated militia. Universal background checks are pretty much supported universally. Heh-heh. But a ban on assault weapons, high capacity magazines, armor-piercing bullets must be part of the overall reform or we will not be moving towards a solution to the issue of gun violence. Congress, and this includes you Democrats from Red States and Harry Reid: get the damned bill for a vote to the floor and vote for it. Otherwise I will actively campaign against you in the next primary.

As for making it easier for people to vote, it's not just the vote-discouraging long lines we need to address. We need to fight the coordinated effort to disenfranchise voters seen in the last election. There is nothing more undemocratic than to deny people the right to vote. Voter suppression laws and the legislators and governors who promulgate them will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. And don't even think about repealing the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

On immigration reform, if a comprehensive package is not on my desk in 30 days, I will (a) issue executive orders to make the path to citizenship immediately easier for all immigrants and (b) send Congress my own proposal.  .

 

On entitlement programs may need a tweak here and there but we will generate signifcant savings by gaining the right to negotiate Medicare drug prices with pharmaceutical companies.  Overall Americans spend close to $3 trillion/yr on health care.  About one in ten of our health dollars goes for prescription drugs ($300 billion).  If we all could reduce the cost of drugs by 1/3 by negotiating with pharmaceutical companies, that would save about $100 billion/year - much of which would result in savings to Medicare.

Regarding the “sequester” and the “debt limit”, let's be frank.  We manufactured these false crises ourselves. If Republicans play their brinksmanship game on the debt ceiling, it will have a major effect on the recovery and the markets and do nothing but damage the credit and faith in the ability of the United States to pay its debts. The money that is being spent has already been approved. To threaten to not pay our debts is childish and asinine.

About the only good thing in the “sequester” is the reduction in military spending. Our overbloated and unnecessary military budget is greater than that of the next 13 or 14 nations combined. Let me repeat that – greater than that of the next 13 or 14 nations combined. Fully, 41% of all military spending in the world is by the United States. If you're worried about the effect on jobs, lets put this useless spending to better use in repairs to infrastructure, new energy sources, medical research, and education.

 

To the climate change deniers, pull your heads out of your asses. We need a comprehensive program to develop alternative energy sources, increase energy efficiency in all aspects of our lives, and create meaningful mass transit and intelligent energy grids throughout the country. Oh yeah, and how about some serious research into nuclear fusion reactors. That should take care of our clean energy needs for the forerseeable future. We also need to begin preparations for engineering solutions to prevent coastal cities from being swamped by rising waters by mid-century. These efforts would be a good alternate use for the military budget.

There's a lot to do in the area of foreign affairs. I need Chuck Hagel as my secretary of defense. His appointment should not be blocked just because he has a reasonable position on Iraq, Iran and the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. With any luck, I can do something to earn my admittedly premature Nobel Peace Prize – maybe by supporting a balanced approach to the Israeli-Palestinian Peace Process such as that promulgated by Americans For Peace Now, the rational alternative to AIPAC.

Securing nuclear weapons so that they don't fall into the hands of terrorists is good; dismantling and destroying all of them would be better. I don't think they have use even to stop asteroids or meteors from hitting the Earth (too unpredictable what the final effect would be) but we can keep a few around for that purpose. Heck, there are more than 15,000 nuclear warheads ready for use around the world.  Let's save maybe 5 of them for asteroids or meteors.

I am really going to shut down Gitmo this time around. Stop whining. These guys have been imprisoned for 12 freaking years.  What could they possibly know about Al Qaeda's current state of affairs? I am going to stop the drone attacks and restore all the liberties taken from Americans by the grotesquely named PATRIOT Act. Finally, all our troops will be out of Afghanistan within 6 months.

Well, it's getting late and I know you all want to get to bed. Just be sure to turn in before Marc Rubio delivers the Republican response.

 

 

Other Links

 

Who really runs the NRA?  (MoveOn)